And the winner is....

Annette Bening says in American Beauty: "In order to be successful, one must project the image of success."

I can't agree more. And nothing projects high-strung WASPy chic better than a delicious mantle full of old trophies. Who cares if the last thing you won was the Project Runway office pool? Start collecting and start projecting!

I always keep an eye out for particularly quaint-bizarre-ancient specimens at flea markets and vintage stores, and there are definitely some amazing deals to be had. (I found a perfectly tarnished 1950's Women's Bowling League of Staten Island trophy for eight bucks at a cute resale shop in Williamsburg.)

But if you can't start your collection quickly enough, Paris Hotel Boutique has a veritable Hall of Fame just waiting to be shopped.

Try a cluster of three or five different heights on a mantle or console, or just fill one with florist's moss or your favorite jelly beans (be sure to wash it out first!).

Or just hold it in front of the mirror and practice your acceptance speech.

They like you, they really do...